“If in order to kill the enemy you have to kill an innocent, don’t take the shot. Don’t create more enemies than you take out by some immoral act.” - James Mattis

In the early days of the Iraq war, civilian casualties were due especially not to a carelessness of troops, but to a careful strategy on the part of people who desperately wanted to maintain their own power within Iraq, even as the tides were turning against them.

Imagine this--- you are sitting at home, in your capital city, and you know that things where you live aren't great. The government is corrupt, but you and your loved ones are relatively well off and are all getting by just fine. You hear that the military of Foreign is planning to come in with intent to overthrow the current, corrupt government. Knowing what you know, you have no particular feelings about this, one way or another. As long as you and your family continue to get by on a daily basis, who is in charge of the government isn't really a top concern, and you have nothing in particular against Foreign or their government.

One day, as your child is walking home from school, she is killed by shelling in the area by Foreign's military. How do you feel about Foreign now? In all likelihood, your "Foreign meter" has gone from "neutral" to "negative," right?*

That shift, from neutral to negative, was essential in maintaining resistance, if not outright violence, against the US military. And how do you accomplish this, if you are a combatant? Easy, you move into a civilian area and you fire outward. The response from US forces might take you down, but it will probably take a couple innocent civilians down with you, and that will cultivate the kind of anger needed to keep the war moving and to hang onto any vestiges of power your family might have. That strategy is the reason the quote in the title of this post is so essential. The death of innocents creates enemies.

That strategy is also why Iraq continues to fall apart-- as people exact revenge against one another's religious sects, tribes, families, communities, or ethnic groups, trying to even the score, everyone is becoming the enemy of everyone else. There is no greater driver of hatred than revenge, and without access to a justice system that sees everyone equally, revenge is the only way to balance the books for a lost loved one. People here aren't violent, nor are they uneducated. In fact, Iraq is an incredibly well-educated country as a whole, for men and women alike. Rather, with no appropriate way to obtain justice, they seek their own. It's not good, but it is understandable.

What would you do if your loved one died, and nobody did a damn thing about it? Nobody looked; nobody cared? I'd hazard that even the most peaceful among us would at least contemplate lashing out. Now imagine this has happened not once, not twice, but tens of times in your family and among your community. Still nobody sees. What would you do then? How long would it take for you to turn to violence?

The violence that continues to grip this country is hard to understand as an outsider. But as a human, looking at human relationships, it is all too simple, It's painful, and unfortunate, but the ultimate breakdown to a unified Iraq is a lack of a strong, functional, representative government that hears everyone equally. From the US, it's way too easy to write off conflict as "over there"... as in "do those people over there just love fighting?".... but is it really so different? What would you do in their shoes?

How different would your life look? I'd guess not much.

*The basic framework of this explanation and sentiment comes from the book The Baghdad Blog, which I would highly recommend to anyone interested in an intelligent, sarcastic, deeply cynical first-hand Iraqi account of the onset of the Iraq war. To read the actual blog post, check it out here.

Not all who wander are lost.... but some definitely are.

So I've officially traveled solo for the first time, and I have to say.... I kind of love it. I really thought I would get bored, or lonely, or would run out of stuff to do, and I didn't do any of those things. I saw all of the major touristy things in Prague, with just a couple of exceptions of things I wanted to do that I didn't get around to. I picked up some watercolors (see random doodle above). I started and finished one full book, and finished a second that I've been reading since I was living in Portland. I managed to only check my work email once. I met some exceptionally fun people (typically in and around Irish themed bars), I saw (in no particular order, and with some major things left out I'm sure): the old town square, the Lennon Wall, the Senate and Cultural Gardens, Prague Castle, a particularly excellent bookshop, Charles Bridge, magicians, street musicians, a talking(!) mime, some pretty amazing street art, and enough coffee shops to make me feel right back at home. I also slept a couple of pretty solid days away, so I guess all those guys telling me that I looked like I needed sleep before I left were totally right. 

If you've never traveled solo, let me say, I highly recommend it. There is something to be said for only having to answer to your own schedule and interests. This trip provided a really interesting opportunity, because I was looking to experience "Western" or "American" things as a break from Iraq, looking to rest and catch up on sleep, and looking to do Czech things (both authentically and touristy). I think I succeeded on most fronts. 

The weirdest part is the realization that in my entire life, I've never really done much alone. I consider myself pretty independent, and yet I've always wanted company to go out and eat, to go hang out somewhere, and I've always tended to get bored after a short while of being on my own and eventually sort of found my way back home. Now that I'm used to it though, I may prefer it to traveling with people. 

Anyway, I'm just about to head out for the airport, so double checking my bags are packed and my passport is at the ready. Here's hoping the trip home goes smoothly! 

Please watch this lovely Youtube video. I promise, it's worth it! Entitled: "How to be Alone."

Finding inspiration written on the walls

The locks here line the fence and are representative of couples' love for one another.
They throw the key into the water. The troll is from a Grimm's Fairy Tale (not sure which..)

From the Lennon Wall

From the Lennon Wall

A door...

Me at the Lennon Wall

Magicians!

View from the Charles Bridge

Charles Bridge... Too packed with tourists to be as romantic as it seems.

View from the Charles Bridge.

Add caption

Graffiti at a bus stop.

Graffiti at a bus stop.

This is easily some of my favorite graffiti ever.

Weird graffiti.

More of the same.

More of my favorite.

Hemingway Bar-- a bit less cool than it looks.

Not totally sure what this place is, but it's like
a street art studio of sorts.

When in Bohemia....

Finally off to Prague!

Shakespeare and Sons bookstore.. home away from home. 

Just a cool door I found

One of many beautiful views in Prague

Sneakily taking photos of graffiti artists.

I almost forgot to take pictures
 that first day--
this was at the bust stop on
the way home

Prague Castle

Maybe I'm doing vacation wrong?

Yes, this is a wizard in a
Guy Fawkes mask.

Old City square.

Overpriced souvenirs but
what a cool sign.

Prague Castle cathedral. Apparently they wanted
it to look Gothic, so they attempted to 
dye the building black,but ran out of money to finish.

View of the city through a
cafe doorway.

Prague Castle again.

Sulaymaniyah, Iraq

So I posted these photos as I was getting ready to head out of country for a week in Prague, so I didn't provide any commentary on them. The top photo is from a field visit we did with one of our local community organization partners, which was hosting a meeting with other CSO activists, government representatives and community leaders to coordinate a response for the anticipated influx of IDPs into the region. By bringing government and community leaders together to coordinate their planning, it avoids duplicate services and allows for a better all-around response to needs. For example, IDPs often arrive having had to leave important documents behind. CSO leaders can help IDPs to navigate the government systems to get their documentation renewed, which they can then use to access government food and NFI support.

Glossary of NGO terms:
IDP.............................internally displaced person/people
CSO............................civil society organization (community organization)
NFI.............................non-food items (think blankets, basic kitchen items, clothing, etc.)

Loved

Seen in my neighborhood on my way to a meeting today.

And outside our Suli office.

MENA Women's Security Forum

Well, after two really incredible, albeit exhausting days of intensive Arabic, I really want to write a post that does justice to this amazing conference that I just attended. It was put on by Iraqi Al Amal Association, and hosted probably over 100 women activists from across the MENA region, including from Iraq, Syria, Palestine, Libya, Tunisia, Yemen and Egypt (and those are just the people I met). These women are quite literally saving lives and preventing terrorism in their countries through youth outreach, through community activism, and through lobbying their local governments to make much needed changes. We heard testimony from Yazidi Christians who escaped Mosul about the horrors that they had to endure, as well as from Syrian community leaders, government officials, UN representatives, international NGO representatives, and countless grassroots activists working to combat extremism in their communities and help people to restore a sense of normalcy to their lives in a way that militarization just can't achieve.

Unlike perhaps any other event I've been to, it had a kind of quiet defiance about it. Getting to the event itself for many was a challenge, and yet their dedication to ensuring that their countries continue to move forward overwhelmingly outweighed the challenges. Women are often the at the forefront of conflict in ways we really don't think about in the West. They are the community organizers, operating something best thought of as a makeshift underground railroad sort of system to help people get out of conflict. They are setting up shelters, cooking for the hungry, advocating for change, working on building community between religions or political groups. They view security first and foremost as being about their families and their communities, defining it in as simple of terms as can their children go to school safely to learn and have a future? They bear the trauma of gender-based violence and rape, which is used as a weapon of war. And yet, or perhaps because, of all of that, these women absolutely will not be silenced or made to feel afraid. They will keep making noise until they are heard. These women, like all of the women who inspire me, are in a perpetual state of call to action. They are not the sitting and waiting type. They will make things happen.

I will definitely write more about this, but after two days of stretching my Arabic to its limits (not to mention being out of the office and having to catch up on that work), I'm instead going to leave you with a small smattering of photos.

Life in the mountains

Picnics here are probably the most common way to spend time. Friends, families and coworkers gather together after work, on weekends and for holidays to enjoy the weather and company and good food (read: enough meat to feed a small army). As such, it's been a plan for a while around here to invite everyone's families and come out to have a picnic, and it finally happened! We gathered everyone together at the office after work, and I got the chance to meet our coworkers wonderful husbands, wives, and children! There was dancing, eating, talking, playing, and general merriment on this beautiful mountain just outside Erbil. I missed a photo of it, but there was also a small, old fort/castle structure right across the way.

Clearly I still can't follow traditional Arabic dancing, though in my defense, I pretty much only joined for a photo to pass on to you all. Everyone else had been practicing longer!. Erbil really is beautiful, and everyone was so warm and fun to hang out with. The plan was to head out immediately after work at 5pm, and return around 8:30. In true Middle East form, we left at 6 and didn't head back until nearly 10:30. 

In other news, I decided on my R&R leave spot-- I'm headed to Prague for 9 days! Expect pictures with Shrek in short order! I'm totally stoked! I got lots of advice from a lot of very well traveled people....  and in true form, disregarded all of it! So I'm off to Prague, traveling solo for the first time in my life. Don't worry, I'll be careful, and check in often. 

All the solo time though I think will be nice. I have spent a lot of time here just hanging out by myself, and it's been really interesting. I spend so much of my time in the States surrounded by people and tv and just general distraction so it's really fascinating to be here, where I'm not really beholden to anything other than my own interests. It feels like the first time in years that I'm really figuring out what those interests are. I've been reading a LOT-- a lot about social justice, a lot of news articles, a lot of poetry (actually, that I've been watching on YouTube. Slam poetry is incredibly interesting-- like a cross between poetry and hip hop, so it suits me well). I stumbled upon this strongly worded (read: mom, you won't like it-- just take my summary!) article recently on Cracked.com of all places (for those who are over the age of say... 32 and/or don't waste all your time on the internet, it's a pop culture and comedy website largely aimed at 20-something men), which offered this bit of food for thought. 

"I want you to try something: Name five impressive things about yourself. Write them down or just shout them out loud to the room. But here's the catch -- you're not allowed to list anything you are (i.e., I'm a nice guy, I'm honest), but instead can only list things that you do (i.e., I just won a national chess tournament, I make the best chili in Massachusetts)."

The author goes on to say, in short, that life is for the active protagonists in life, those who offer something of value to others, not the passive ones. The people who make shit happen. And I have to say, I found it challenging to name five things I do that are impressive. I stumbled after about three. So that's where I'm focusing, while I'm here and operate on my own schedule, without the white noise of my life in Portland. I've spent a fair amount of time here thinking about the people who really impress me in life, and why that is, and the big thing is, they get involved. They make their voices heard, and they see a problem and take it on. I want to surround myself with the kind of people who take things on, because it encourages me to do more of that. 

And for that bit of inspiration for the day, check out the organization AptART, which works with children in war-torn countries and host communities for refugees (DRC, Syria, Mozambique, Jordan) to use art as a means of self expression and as an outlet. Their art and murals are pretty amazing. 

AptART and Acted mural, Zaatari refugee camp, Jordan, 2013.